Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Man vs Monkey

ok...i just had to write about this...real life experience...this time its not about a weird frnd of mine...it happened to me...:(..

i got up in the morn yest, thinking "wow only 4 dayz to go"..and i was in a pretty good mood...humming to myself i got ready and dressed up and went down to the garage and got in to my cycle and rode away into happiness....atleast tht was wht i was thinking....(mysterious background music..oooooohhohohohohooowowowowow aaaaaaaooooaoaoaaaa)...

i went as usual to the campus cafe for breakfast . i noticed that while i was goin inside a few monkeys were roaming outside the cafe...since this was not unusual in IITM, where monkeys and deers are outnumber human beings, i didnt think about it much...it was kinda crowded inside and it took some time to find a place and eat breakfast...after eating breakfast i felt kinda thirsty, u know..the kind of thirst only carbonated drinks can quench..hehe.:D..but here in this lame cafe, they had only appy...so i bought myself an appy and drank 2-3 sips and walked outside..(horror music...aaaaaaaaoooooohhhhhhhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaooooooooooooo)

the number of monkeys outside had increased like crazy...now there were like 12-15 of them outside...still i didnt think much and strted walking towards my cycle.
just then agrup of 3 monkeys ran upto me...i didnt see them comin...suddenly BAM!! they were in front of me..3 freaking big monkeys...they sorta sat down near my foot and the leader walked upto me and started making scAry noises. he wanted the appy in my hand and was trying to reach for it...i kept taking my hand higher and higher and he started showing his teeth and getting angry i thnk...the other monkeys were also making these weird noises.

shit...i was quite scared...didnt no what to do...some chap who was nearby shouted out to drop the appy and back away or they might attack u or scratch u..in which case i might have to take an injection..(really???)...anywayz i thght it was pretty good advise at tht pt of time and i dropped the appy....they pounced on it and strted fighting amongst themselves..i ran to my cycle and unlocked it and got into it and almost cycled away....but then i thght...

shld i run from these monkeys..i mean we defeated them in previous era's right???...u guyz remember the great monkey wars of 1750 right..??..when humans defeated monkeys and humiliated them..or going furthur back in time....the first monkey war of 5000 BC..when monkeys fought amongst themselves and a sect of them defeated the other and the sect which won was called themselves "humans" from tht day onwards...shld i just leave all tht and run and betray the whole of human race and be exiled forever...NO..I WILL NOT RUN...

at the same time a dialogue from the Hollywood Block Buster and BEst movie ever "ULTRAVIOLET" flashed in my brain..." im violet and i lived in a world u couldnt even imagine"

i know it has no significance here but i just wanted to say it anywayz,...:))..lol..
coming back to real time, so i turned my cycle so tht i could run away fast ..then i picked up a pretty big stone...the monkey which won the battle with other monkeys for the appy...had climbed a small tree and was sitting on the top...i tok the stone and threw it at the monkey...quite hard...it hit him square on his arm or chest...in sudden fright it dropped the appy from its hand and it fell into a drain...and was swept away..for ever....i cycled away as fast as possible knowing tht i had just won the "1st monkey war of IITM" and tht human race is still in great hands....

Monday, June 23, 2008

foreign interns...i hate u...

ok...long time...i havent been getting any cool ideas for writing a post...yea..been kinda busy...but some guyz kept pressurising me to write a post..:P..and here it is...and btw...the characters in this post are true and still alive, as of my knowledge...here goes..

ok..2 of my good frnds went abroad this summer for internship..this post is about them and dedicated for them...(btw..one of those guyz said "arvind , we r more than frnds"..:O...ok..whateva..)

the first guy will be referred to as Humpty Dumpty..:)..this guy is in vienna, austria doing his internship. Skipping and hopping all through out europe he has proved that he is a total fool and i wonder why did god let go to tht place at all...c'mon..if u wanted to study , u could have stayed back in india, right..like me..hehe...the only reason i thnk i would wanna go to austria is, if i wanted to enjoy and not study.let me tell u some incidents from this chaps life....

he is in austria ...DOSENT DRINK BEER...:O :O :O....tries to drink wine and passes out on the road after a glass..and wakes to find himself in a austrian harlem...yes..they exist...i have a foto..ask for it if u see me..:))....i seriously dont know wht went on in thr and dont wanna know too....there is apparenly a smokin hot gurl in his dept who has made some moves on him...Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?....and as he is a total nice guy, he has ignored her and is currently trying to make a move on his prof...guy named tobias....wow...aint tht cool...

went to amsterdam , where rest of his frnds got lapdancers to dance for them while he watched and vowed to bathe in the ganga once he got back to india...this is a conversation tht took place between him and me...

Arvind: so u didnt get a lapdance???:O...wtf man
Humpty: ob no...its so disgusting re...beautiful blonde girls with awesome bods crawling over u...yuck..i hate it..
Arvind: OMG.. u freak....whts wrong with u..
Humpty: well..if u were in my position, u would nt have done it either...i mean.. dont u have a conscience...
Arvind: i have a conscience..hence if i had come from thr without doing it..i would have suicided..u gay fuck...

Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?Y?.....y does it happen to him ...and of course how could i forget...he goes to a party and a aussie chap invites him over to his farm house for the weekend...yea...just the 2 of em..alone...secluded farmhouse..only way in is to drive or take a ride....FISHY????...he thinks no....he goes for the weekend...comes back on monday..a lil sore on the backside and a lot wiser..hehe..:D...
misses a amazing rock concert featuring artists like RATM,BFMV,opeth etc...to hike to a secluded lake alone and enjoy the scenery...

i cant write any more..or ill end up throwing up on my laptop ...lets get down to the 2nd chap...if u thght this chap was a nerd, guess again....hes a total perv..:P

lets call him Chinky Hunter for the time being....and hes not chinky...so u get it right..??..:))..
he is in singapore doin his "internship"...stayin in a coed hostel ....with his room mates who r coeds..whenever i ask him wht hes doin he tells me " nothin much re ..just tired from all the work"...yea..true..even i would be very tired all the time if i was in a coed chinky hostel..lolz..:D

his fav past time is to go on sumthin known as the "night safari"...yea..from the name u might think its one of those tours to see wild animals..but...no...far from tht...

he goes alone into the vast, unchartered and dangerous(??)..territory of his hostel..hehe..and sits in some corner and camps for chinky's to come out...just like hunters camp near water holes to shoot the deer..he sits near the water cooler and wait....even chinkys need to drink water right??...brilliant chap...amazing idea..even i would have never thght of tht..:D...

but, i gotta give it to him..hes gone thr to do some experiments of "puppet valves"..sumthin to do with a puppet show..any tailor could have done it i guess...but chinky hunter is on the prowl....and all u chinkys out thr...well...sad....

anywayz..this is just a post to keep u guyz reading till my next one is up....its the 4th song..called "the tree of life"...cya

Monday, June 16, 2008

my superhero friend

well...yes..superhero..as usual , let him ne annonymous...but im sure ppl who know him will realise who he is...:D...my frnd from PUC...a real hero..

i mean some superheroes can fly, some can bend iron, some can chew steel, some creep up behind u in the dark, some can jump from building to building using webs, some fight using awesome sharp swords, some have great bodies (elektra, catwoman..:D), some beat inncents, some steal money and give to the poor, some shoot lasers out of their eyes, some throw boomerangs, some chase in u bikes and kill u....but a NEW GENRE OF SUPERHERO WAS BORN THAT DAY...yes..a SUPERHERO WHO HAD SEX FOR 5-6 HOURS CONTINUOUSLY NONSTOP.....:O..:O..:O...

yes..im not lying..i swear...this story is extremely true..another frnd can testify ..we were both there when it happened...this is how it happenend..

one day, we were comin back from coll after a tired day of staring at suri's blank face...as soon as me and my frnd (ill call him kurt cobain..)..so me and kurt got out of the bus and was standing talking at the bus stop..that day my superhero frnd hadnt come to class..(lets call him shatabdi)...then we suddenly saw that shatabdi was standing at the bus stop..he were shocked since he had a bag on his shoulders and he hadnt even come to coll that day...so, naturally we asked him what the hell he was doing outside with a school bag..so he was like.."nothin..just waiting for u guyz"..so we said.."ok..but y do u still have ur bag...whr did u go in the morn..instead of cmin to coll".. he was smiling like a fool..he said it hapened today..so i said wht happened re asshole...he said..." u know tht girl who used to live in my apts...shes moving out of town in 2-3 dayz so she just walks up to me and tells me"hey shatabdi, from the time ive seen u ive been wanting u..chal lets have sex"..so i said ok...thts y i didnt come to coll.."...me and kurt r totally stunned...we r like wtf...stop lying assole....just to humour him we ask him how he did it and the details...he says" we went to her apts and did it...she gave him head for an hr (:O)..and then he gave her face for an hr..(:O)...then they had sex for 3-4 hrs nonstop...NON FUCKIN STOP...:D...
well..we just walked away...wht else can u do...
he still sticks by his story..come what may....well..i would have thght that the gurl would have died either of exhaustion, dehydration or maybe even starvation..lolz...but shatabdi says she was fine and he wasnt tired at all..since he practises kung fu i thnk...some martial art...well...should be called marital art in the case of this superhero...
now u may guyz have realised y i call him shatabdi...it takes shatabdi exp 4 hrs to reach bangalore from madras..yes..that too nonstop..almost..hehe...
anywayz any gurls want to know who shatabdi is just write to me and ill gladly tell u...any guyz ant tips from shatabdi ...same applies to u...well...ok then..cya...choo chooo...chug chug..lolz..

Friday, June 13, 2008

funny story i just hrd

i was talking to a frnd of mine on gtalk just now sometime back....he would like to be annonymous so i will let him be...as usual after the weird introductory jokes he crackes , i ask him how he is..and he says he's good but somehow his tone dosent seem to imply that...so i ask him howz his "famous" love life..as usual.. he's his normal "devdas" self..says she dosent like me yaar...so i say ..to boost his morale up.."thats not what i hrd"..so he asks "what have u hrd"...then i reply.."well..a mutual frnd of ours begs to differ.."...he laughs and says wht did that MC say...so i say he said that u teo like each other pretty good and just coz u had a fight dosent mean its over , right??..well..ill let gtalk do the talking now..:D

arvind: oh
he also said tht the female full shouted at u...last day or sumthin
when u gave her frnd the 5star instead of her...


(censored name) : well thts wrong..
she shouted... after tht i gave her a five star . The bitch's lust wasn't satisfied wid the 5 star ... she wanted a crackle after tht... which i refused to buy her... so she again shouted..:(


arvind: lolz..
funniest story ive ever hrd

OMG...ROFL!!!...truly , one of the funniest story ive hrd....one of the most awaited and most promising love stories of our generation ended coz of chocolates...wow...
ever since i hrd tht ive not been able to stop smiling..but as usual i dont take sides...

looking at it from her point of view..a 5star is pretty cheap a chocolate for offering as a gift...
from his point of view...it was a 5star damn it!!!...he didnt eat it did he??..he gave it to u..so just eat it and stfu...i love 5star and if someone right now gave me a 5star i wouldnt shout at them..i would just thank them for their kindness and eat it slowly..relishing its chocolatey, nougat flavour...:D...if anyone in the above story reads it..this is not just for fun...i truly mean it when i say ...u two are meant for each other...please dont get seperated and cause the untimely death of 2 more better ppl u 2 might meet in the future..

PS: if anyone has a 5star mail it to me @ 6,g4,iitm, chennai -6...thnxz..

Thursday, June 12, 2008

song 3: "please say please"

(song style..maryln manson..esp the chorus..sung like sweet dreams..)

for my number one listener anil...:)

u think u own the world , but u dont
u think u own the rest of us, but u never will
u think u can silence us by force, but u never can
theres just one way to go through us, just say please

just please say "please" (chorus)
just beg on your knees
u dont have to pay fees
uve been rented out for lease...
so just please say "please"
beg on ur knees

u dont have a say, nope u just dont
u werent born free, u never was
u life was a lie
know its time to say gooodbye...
knife on ur throat, slowly makin it bleed
thrs a way out of this, but u dont show the need
u just have to say please..

(chorus)

slavery still exists on earth
ur either free or a slave by birth
reasons to free u ,are in no dearth
the real reason is tht u just aint worth...
so just live till u die,
if u wanna be free, temme, dont be shy
u know wht u gotta do, u always knew
but as always the words just dont come through
so just say please

(chorus)

song 2 " a tribute: cool fat kid"

firstly ppl hu thght my first song sucked can suck it...so here goes..
"A tribute: Cool Fat Kid" or "At cfk"

there was a kid back in school
who never was considered cool
wht they didnt know was tht it wouldnt be long
until he got his very own song
the gurlz wouldnt even glance at him
nope..not even the ugly ones like lil' kim
the guyz would beat him everyday after school behind the shed
whip his ass and pound on his head till it bled

then something happened oneday
something so magical tht i dont know wht to say
the fat ugly kid grew his hair long
straight and longer than this song
he vowed to be cool forever
with cheeks pink and hair long he marched on

all the people whom he knew were captivated
he carried on, now motivated
multi ethnic chicks followed him wherever he went (:D..lolzzz..)
theres no count on the cash tht they spent
trying to get his attention

so here i tell the world
i cannot hide it any longer
i have seen the cool fat kid
and this is a tribute i just had to write.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

analysing blogs...

i was reading blogs since morning..since i have nothing else to do..and i read almost 50-60 blogs....most in english..some in some weird language but with lots of pics of hot chicks..:D..i dont understand the lang but we all can understand the universal lang of pictures ..right??..hehe..yea..wht i wanted to say was tht many ppl tend to blog in some kinda weird sophisticated english...im sure thts not how they normally talk..seriously cant be...who talks like "i was sitting on the beach and sun dipped in to the sea leaving us all with a warm glow and i felt like the heavens opened on me as the cool drops of rain hit me"...dude...wtf...cant they just write "i was sitting on the beach and sun was setting and then it strted raining like shit..."...we all know tht the sun has to set sometime or the othr..so if u keep sitting on the beach u will see it sometime or the othr...and then u were caught in the open when it was raining and instead of running for cover..u chose to sit thr and enjoy it and then had to end up in bed in pneumonia wrting blogs with so crap that even shakespeare will have to refer the internet to know the meaning of those godamn words u use...
next...y do ppl tend to get philosophical while writting blogs...i mean how often do u find some guy talking to u on true meaning of god,differnt meanings of life and such crap...but while writing..woaaa..everyone has to talk abt some crap like tht..y?..just to show ur not mentally challenged???ok..whateva..i cant analyse your world more than this..my small brain is almost on the verge of bursting...

song 1

title " Sand and Gravel" (time being imagine hetfield sings it..:D)

tide rolls in and another day is erased
the sea takes back whateva it gives ya...
but today it took sumthin tht didnt belong to her..
the woman standing on the beach curses ya...

the poor child drowns in the sea
salty water in his lungs
his mother drowns in self pity
though u know as well as i do she aint got the rights

oooohhh yeaaaaahhhhh (:D) (chorus)
sand and gravel
right upto her navel
no thoughts, no worries
no sound, no sorries
u gotta be freakin brave
to just watch whilest ur son sinks to his grave...
oh yeaaaaaa....

she didnt care from the beginning
and he was all for the taking
now hes gone, shes all alone
now shes scared..yea...nows shes scared..

run to the sea, shes ur saviour
drown urself in her, thts the only way out
she stops breathing, all the life flows outta her
now shes just waiting..to join her boy...

next day morning , the bodies are swept in
both grey and lifeless staring at each other
the boy wakes up and walks away.....away....
she just lies stonecold dead...

the sea never takes wht dont belong to her
but this its just taken her....
oh yea..taken her...
yea yea yea...fuckin taken her....

chorus...

past 1 month

i dont mean to bitch and stuff..but past 1 month has been just so boring...i came too iitm thinking god knows what....i didnt have accomodation,...for the first day stayed some place outside...a place with lotsa beds and BPO guyz outnumbering the number of beds...im like "thts my bed i guess" and some chap sleeping on it just stares at me and gets up and sleeps on the floor...really weird place...then luckily one kind hearted iitian accomodated me as his guest..for a week or so..and then my prof found me some quarters to live in...so now atleast i have a bed..:)
life is so boring and montonous here....one of my frnds came down here and life showed some hope..but then he went away to some chinkyland...so back to boredom....sit at the comp whole day and run some crappy softwares...not what a chem engg should be doin right...i thght they would show me some weird labs which glow or some insane equipment worth crores...nope...all equipment are cheap and labs are just normal...so i talk all day on gtalk...and surf science direct....waiting for new frnds to come online..hehe..now im writing this blog..so that some other bored ppl out thr can read it and feel happy that not all ppl out thr r happy...i thnk i will start writing my songs again...look out for that...yes..after 2 platinum albums i may be back...keep ur fingers crossed.....

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

idiot

i was just taking to my friend...he likes to be annonymous..so lets just call him by a random name now...say "varun shah"..ok?...say he's in austria...now along comes a mega rock concert called nova rock...u musta hrd abt it..if not http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nova_Rock ..chk it out...hes in a dilemma...whether to go for this once in a life time concert which u mostly cant go to again ..evr again...or to go to see a lake...some random lake in the mountain...now hoping tht whoever reading this is not gay and has a non gay opinion....temme which one would u choose....better still...add him on ur gtalk....varunshah87@gmail.com..and plzzz abuse him till u cant type any more coz ur fingers r bleeding...plzzz...for rock and rolll...i beg of u kind sirs/madams...

hey all...

i was like totally jobless...and going through the internet...thwn i saw this interesting blog...wont say which one coz then ull read tht and not this..anywayz...i thght "hey..y dont i blog too"...yea..if u think thts how this blog came up...u must be fuckin kidding me...im just doin this to look as if i am working for my project and coz im tired sick of reading philosophical blogs...how come guyz/gals hu dont seem philosohphical alwayz seem to get so in their blogs...anywayz if u too r tired fuckin sick of all this philosophy and politics in these blogs...c'mon..lets start our journey towards enlightenment...yea .tths right...enlightentment....boohooo..